How To Talk To Any Woman In Any Situation
Written by Seduction Tutor in Approaching, Pickup, Flirting, Attraction
How To Talk To Any Woman In Any SituationThis week I would like to turn the tables around and try something a little bit different. Something that just might make you take a new perspective and think about things in a way you’ve never thought about before… something that just might stir you up enough to get you to take some action…
First, I’d like you to think about the last time you saw a really attractive woman… you wanted to go over and talk to her, but for whatever reason you just didn’t do it. I’m talking about a really hot woman.
Take your time if you need it. I’m not going anywhere. Good.
Now, let me ask you something:
Did you ever stop a day or two after one of these situations happened to think about where that particular woman might be, and what she might be doing? Did you ever stop to think about what the rest of her day was like after she walked by you? About the ten or twenty other men that saw her that day who didn’t have the nerve to talk to her… and the two or three that did…? About the, most likely, boring job that she went to, the same-old-same-old “Wow, you’re beautiful” lines that she heard from the guys who got up the nerve to talk to her?
Did you ever consider that it might be useful to take a little time out and consider what it might be like to be an attractive woman, walking through life having almost every man you see light up with the “Whoa” look?
What do you think we might be able to figure out if we just took a few minutes to explore what that attractive woman’s private life is like? Here are a few things that I’ve come up with:
1. Most attractive women are bored out of their minds by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have no idea what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: dumb look, compliment.
2. As I’ve said before, and I’m sure I’ll say many, many, many times in the future: You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you. If she’s most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she’s going to walk by this month did, then you’re probably not going to attract any special attention.
3. If you just start with the idea of not doing what other guys do you will be waaaaaayyy ahead of the game.
Wow, this is fun, isn’t it? Bet you never thought you’d be thinking like a woman, did ya? So, what are a few things you might do to? Maybe not be like the other 499 boring, predictable, “nice” loser guys she encountered? And maybe be interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice in her life?
I thought you’d never ask…
And, as you may have already predicted, I have a few more ideas of my own (but don’t let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance).
To start with, you’d probably want to get rid of the “Wow, you’re a beautiful woman, and I’m just an average guy admiring you” vibe. That’s not helping. Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel attracted to might act… then choose that style. My experience is that if you take an attitude of “I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let’s see if you have a personality to match your looks”, then stir in a generous portion of Cocky & Funny, you’re likely to do well.
Here’s a variation of something I’ve used myself once or twice:
* YOU: “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” (leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow)
* HER: “Sure”
* (pause.. pause.. pause for suspense)
* YOU: “Are you single?” (stone cold straight face)
* HER: “Well, um…”
* YOU: “I’ll take that as a yes…” (nodding, sly smile)
* HER: (Laughter)
* YOU: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you… if you’re more than just a pretty face, that is… He’s funny, has great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m on my way somewhere… do you have email?” (very cool, calm tone of voice)
* HER: “Yes.”
* YOU: Great… (takes out pen)… write it down for me, and I’ll have, uh (clears throat) HIM send you an email.”
* (Get email and wish the lady a good day.)
Now, let’s talk about what just happened here.
First off, did I give her any compliments? Did I act like the other 499 guys? Did I instantly communicate that “I’m not worthy”? Hell no.
I said, “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” in a very laid back, almost too relaxed and mysterious tone of voice (your body language is a very important component of this approach…). Anyone will respond to that with a “yes”.
Next, I did something kind of fun: I asked her directly if she was single. LOL… I really love this one. It’s so fun. Most guys will say, “Uh, I’ll bet you have a
boyfriend, huh?” or “So, do you have a man?” or some other lame thing. The question, “Are you single?”, takes women off guard. It’s great. And then being assumptive when she hesitated with an answer… in a cocky & funny way… magic.
Next, I followed up with a cocky, funny, semi-confusing little bit about “knowing someone” that might find her interesting. Now, she might think that it’s really me, but she won’t know for sure until she gets the email. And even then you might play with her a bit… “So, what did you think of my friend? I think he might like you…” etc.
The point is, I can pretty much guarantee you that this particular sequence hasn’t happened to her lately. She’s still trying to overcome her sheer awe
about how many guys in a row can ask “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”. This kind of fun approach will be a welcome breath of fresh air.
Now, I want you to do something. Go back and read it again… very carefully. Imagine it happening exactly like it’s written. Try to imagine it in a few different settings. Work on it until you can clearly see it happening in your mind’s eye. (The reason I can see it clearly is because I’ve done it so many times in real life!)
OK, so now you know how to approach women. Fantastic.
“Double Your Dating” - eBook by David DeAngeloI can remember when I first learned how to start approaching women… I thought that if I could just start conversations easily, the rest of it would be a snap. Well, after meeting a lot of women, but not getting so many dates… and having the few dates I did get not go anywhere… I realized that there was a lot more to it.
The reality is that success with women comes down to understanding female psychology, knowing the entire “mating game” front to back, and then knowing all the specific techniques and steps you need to take at each moment with a woman. And there’s only one place in the world I know of that you can learn all of this information quickly, easily, and thoroughly… That one place is my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. Download it now. You’ll be glad you did.
I’ll talk to you again soon,
How To Become Great Storyteller
Written by Seduction Tutor in Social Skills
How To Become Great StorytellerStorytelling… one of the most natural forms of human communicating. Relating the day’s events, sharing our lives with others, letting people know where we’ve been and where we’re going. From short stories about your drive home yesterday or most recent adventure to the cell phone store, to long stories about your travels abroad or something that changed your life…
Most people’s stories are boring most of the time. This is a shame.
Yet sometimes you will meet a captivating, damn amazing storyteller, with fascinating, engaging stories that make you love talking to that person and hearing about his adventures. Even regular events sound like epic struggles and dramatic escapades. People love listening to those people, and want to be those people.
Let’s explore the art of storytelling. If you don’t have much practice telling stories, it’s usually pretty quick to get up and running telling basic stories that are good enough to keep others engaged.
Here’s some rules to make your stories great. Of course, you must choose your content well, because what you say says a lot about you. And be sure that the message of your story communicates good things about you. We’ll cover that in a future newsletter. Today, let’s be interesting… Here’s how to make your story stories electric.
The One Thing Single Women Hate - Don’t Do It
Written by Seduction Tutor in Social Skills, Attraction, Dating
The One Thing Single Women Hate - Don’t Do It“You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you…”
I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it’s not as obvious as it might seem to some guys. In fact, when I think back on my own experiences with women, I am definitely guilty of trying to bore women into feeling attracted to me… So, what do I mean by this silly sounding statement?
Well, let’s start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time:
* “I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she didn’t call me back, and I can’t reach her…”
* “I don’t want to use any ‘techniques’ with women because I feel like that would be ‘manipulating’ her…”
* “I want a girl who will like me for who I am…”
* “I give her everything she wants, take her out, buy her things, and I don’t understand why she doesn’t feel the same way towards me that I feel towards her…”
* “She tells me that she only likes me as a friend, then she goes out with these guys who treat her like crap instead of going out with a guy like me that would treat her wonderfully and give her everything she wants…”
And the list goes on and on…
Now, I realize that these statements are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them is: you’re not behaving in a way that is pushing her attraction buttons. In most of these cases, you’re guilty of trying to bore her into feeling.
I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn’t any “spark”… but he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was bad about the date, that this girl should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few
more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see the light).
Here are a few common problems that lead to “boring date-itis“:
1. Playing it “safe”. Following her lead, not saying anything that you think will upset her and making sure that you’re “proper”.
2. Talking about boring things. Like jobs, family, weather, etc., because it’s “what people talk about to get to know each other.”
3. Being boring.
Playing it Safe
I can remember when I thought that the proper way to act on a date was to talk about socially acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet, and generally try to make sure that she got whatever she wanted. Oh, was this a huge mistake.
Generally speaking, women are bored to death by this kind of behavior. When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out to dinner, it’s time to have fun, not to be her personal ass kisser! Playing it safe and kissing up to her is a sure way to get either an expensive relationship or a woman who won’t call you back.
Talking About Boring Things
Don’t talk about your job and your family! Boring!
Guys who are trying to convince women that they’re “nice”, talk about their families (If you really want to be a loser, carry pictures around with you and show them off). Talking about families is “courtship” behavior, and it will put her into the old “this guy is boring” frame of mind. Unless you’re related to John F. Kennedy or someone even more interesting, keep the family history to yourself!
As a quick note, I want to mention that you have to know not only how to not be boring, but you must also know how to communicate using the “language of attraction”… which is another topic completely. You can learn more about this secret language in “Double Your Dating” eBook.
So, what does a “boring” guy act like? Well, for starters he acts like he’s not comfortable in the situation… Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her opinions all the time. Asking her what she’d like to do. Holding your body in an unsure, insecure way. That’s a good start.
Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you’ve got the makings for her running as fast as she can and changing her phone number to save herself from
another one of your boring calls!
So, what’s the answer? What’s the secret to
making her feel attracted to you and not bored out of her skull? I thought you’d never ask. Here are a few ideas for starters:
1. Take her somewhere that has a lot going on… somewhere that has interesting conversation built in. I like funky areas that have lots of eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can’t walk through one of these areas without having an interesting conversation. There are all kinds of interesting things from tattoo artists to funky hat shops to ultra-trendy clothing stores. Most cities have an area like this, and I’d suggest you go check it out.
2. Talk about something that isn’t boring. One of my favorite things to do is to get her to talk about her life, then find things to make fun of. This is a great opportunity for cocky and funny…
You: “So, tell me something interesting.”
Her: “Like what?”
You: “What, you can’t think of even one interesting thing about yourself or your life? I think I need to go before this gets any worse…”
You get the idea…
3. If there is a silence, never let it be uncomfortable. I think that it’s great to stop talking when you’re first getting to know a woman. But don’t do it in a way that sends chills up her spine.
If the conversation goes cold for a few moments, just pay attention to something else for a minute. Think about something funny to say and laugh to yourself. She’ll say “What? What are you laughing about?”… which is a great lead in for about 1,000 different cocky/funny answers.
If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act like you’re with a friend, act totally casual, and pick it back up later. Just don’t act nervous and uncomfortable!
4. Don’t be predictable. There is an area of the human brain called “Broca’s Region” that is constantly anticipating what is about to happen, then discounting the predictable. In other words, the more predicable you are, the faster you will be considered boring.
Learn to say random things. Disagree with her… (without sounding like a whiny little girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears looks like a dog…
If you’re boring, read a couple of books on how to tell stories. Or get a book on comedy to learn how to be funny and tell jokes. Just do whatever you have to do to avoid being predictable! And do whatever you have to do to learn how to make women feel attraction.
OK, I think you’re getting the idea. Women don’t want boring. A woman would rather be with an interesting, fun guy than with a rich, handsome, predictable, boring one (and the women who want the rich boring guy are often boring themselves…).
Once a woman starts to feel that magical, emotional and physical response called attraction, the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about. And most women go through life wishing, hoping, and dreaming that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling…
So what’s the best way to learn how to make a woman feel attraction for you? In fact, what’s the one system in the world that is designed specifically to teach you how to make women feel a powerful attraction for you?
“Double Your Dating” - eBook by David DeAngeloOf course, my online “Double Your Dating” eBook.
It’s taken me several years of researching, testing, and refining the specific steps to making a woman feel a powerful attraction for you… and I’ve taken all of my best concepts and condensed them in these easy-to-understand, step-by-step programs.
Making a woman feel attraction isn’t about luck. And, you’re not going to learn how to do it by accident. You have to learn how, just like I did… And, I want to help you. You can download my eBook and be reading it within a few minutes.
Talk to you again soon.
How To Be An Interesting Conversationalist
Written by Seduction Tutor in Social Skills
How To Be An Interesting ConversationalistWomen are sick of boring conversations with men. They have had the same one over and over and over. If you can be different, you will stand out hugely, and quickly generate attraction. To be an interesting conversationalist you just need to follow a few simple rules.
Avoid hairdresser conversation
What kind of conversation do you have with a hairdresser, person in the post office queue, your aunt who you see once every 6 months? It is probably boring, shallow, and what I like to call conversation on rails. When we meet someone new, they say “what do you do“, “where are you from“, “do you like films“, etc. We hate answering these questions over and over, yet we ask them of others. For attractive women who get approached regularly, the issue is even bigger.
Don’t interview her
Many women are approached and immediately put on the spot and asked to answer a series of questions. The man’s only response to her answers is usually “oh really, so…“. This quickly gets boring and any woman that puts up for this for long must either be really attracted to you or very very polite.
Don’t ask a series of questions. Ask one, and connect on the point then ask another. For advanced level skills, try to elicit the answer without asking the boring question - make an assumption or guess about what she does, where she is from, or what food she likes. You get the same information but it is more interesting for her.
Don’t say the obvious
If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard it 500 times. Find something more specific to her, preferably not about her appearance, or don’t say anything at all. It is fine to give an obvious compliment with feeling when you are already together but in the early stages it is not what she wants.
Have interesting answers to standard questions
There are certain questions and conversational paths that occur again and again for each person. Think about what yours are, and make your input more interesting. If a conversation gets boring because the girl starts asking boring questions, she won’t remember it was her fault, she will just know she is bored!
Talk with passion
If you can talk with passion about things you care about, it draws people in. If you enjoy something, let it show, be expressive, use visual and emotive language. People get caught up in it and start to feel good too. When they feel good, they will want to talk to you more.
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4 Traits Of A “Cool Guy”
Written by Seduction Tutor in Social Skills, Attraction, Lifestyle
4 Traits Of A “Cool Guy”Here’s How To Act When You “Like” A Woman…
I get a lot of questions from guys asking all kinds of questions about how to behave around women. In fact, this might be one of the areas that guys want to know the most about.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past year or so about the concept of being “cool”. In other words, I’ve been watching people (myself included) to see if I could figure out why some people are considered “cool” while some are considered “not-so-cool”… and more importantly, how to use this idea to have more success with women.
So what is a “cool guy”? And what is it about a guy who’s “cool” that makes women feel more attracted to him than an “uncool” guy?
Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about guys I’ve known who were un-cool.
* One friend I used to have loved to argue with people. He would start arguments about anything and always take the opposite perspective on every topic. He did this with women all the time too. I think he felt like he was coming across as smart when he argued. Guess what? Women hated it, and ran as soon as he started in. His guy friends hated it too. He was un-cool because his insecurity was so strong, that he had to argue to get attention.
* Another friend I have always tries to do nice things and favors for women he likes. As soon as he meets a woman he likes, he tries to find something he can do for her. Of course, he then gets upset when the woman doesn’t return the feelings of affection… and he acts upset and “taken advantage of”. This, of course, makes women run away. As you can probably guess, he’s trying to manipulate women with favors. And women resent him for it. Women don’t think he’s cool, and they avoid him.
* I know one guy who loves to tell women how beautiful they are, buys them drinks and dinners, and pursues them with the “You’re the greatest thing in the world and I’m going to chase you around and try to buy your attention“. And even though he’s doing a lot of “nice” things for the women he’s interested in, he can’t keep one around for more than a date or two. Even his guy friends think that he needs to calm down and act more “cool” in general.
Now, all three of the guys I’ve mentioned above have different problems… but the way I see it, they’re all strangely related.
Here are a few more quick stories about guys I know who are “cool“.
* One guy I know always has girls around him. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without at least one girl with him. Usually he has three or four girls with him… and sometimes up to 10 or 12. He always makes fun of the girls, teases them, and treats them like good friends who he’s comfortable enough to bust on. He’s not rich, he doesn’t buy things for women, and he doesn’t kiss up to them. He does, on the other hand, make it his business to know where the “cool” places are in town, where to go out, and who to call for the “inside track” on where the hot spots are. Then he shows up at the door to these hot spots with five women. Everyone who knows him thinks of him as a “cool” guy.
* I have another friend that is really amazing with women. But he does something that’s rather unusual when he’s around women. He kind of ignores them when he first meets them. If he’s out with friends, and one of them introduces a female friend to him, he’ll shake her hand and say “hi”, then turn away and go back to whatever he was doing. Somehow, the women that are around him always want to talk to him. And all the guys he knows think of him as one of the coolest guys
* Finally, I have one friend who literally says things to women like, “You probably wouldn’t like me. I don’t really have relationships with women. Our relationship will probably go no further than the physical…” If you’ve seen my Advanced DVD Program, you probably remember him saying these exact words when I’m interviewing him. He’s so calm and laid back around women that they have to often pursue him… and it happens a lot. He’s blunt, direct, and honest about whatever is on his mind. He doesn’t chase women, buy them things, or smother them with compliments… and yet, they love him. And he has a crew of guy friends who all love him and think he’s one of the “coolest” guys in the world.
So what is it that separates the “cool” guys from the “uncool” guys? What is “cool”?
What is it that makes a few rare people the kind of people that everyone wants to be around? What is it about un-cool guys that repels other
people, and makes women run away?
And what is it about this element that I’m calling “cool” that makes guys who have it attract more women than they can handle?
The Definition Of Cool
I personally think that being “cool” comes down to:
1. Being independent
2. Being indifferent
3. Being funny
4. Being socially adjusted
Before I get into each of these in detail, I want to mention something… Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to help you meet more women, or give you advice to get past limiting beliefs, etc.
I’ve realized recently that there are a few basic, fundamental things that we, as guys, need to really “get” about interacting with other people before we start trying to learn advanced stuff, like how to approach and meet women. If you don’t have some of the basic things handled, all the fancy techniques in the world won’t fix your
problem. So stick with me here, this is important.
OK, so let’s talk about the four components that I mentioned above.
Independent is the opposite of “dependent”. When you act “dependent”, you lean on others, you look to them for approval, you ask what they think before you make a decision, you tend to want to stay physically close to them, and your feelings tend to depend on what others feel and think of you.
When you act independent, you lean back, you do things because you decided you wanted to, you don’t ask others what they think - instead you decide yourself, you are fine walking away from your friends for awhile when you’re out, and your feelings are controlled by what you think, not what others think.
A “dependent” person will go into a bar with friends, stick close to them all night, ask what everyone else is drinking before they order, get upset easily about things that others say, and constantly be looking for attention and approval in some way.
An independent person, on the other hand, will go into a bar with friends and be more likely to… walk away and look around the place alone to see who’s there - and feel fine about leaving their friends for awhile and striking up a conversation with a stranger… They’ll order a drink if they want, or water if they want - and
not care what everyone else is drinking… They’ll be cool and calm no matter what happens - even if others are getting upset around them… And, most importantly, they aren’t looking to others for attention and approval. They’re doing their own thing, and enjoying whatever happens.
Most people in this world are attached to the outcomes of things. They’re constantly worrying about what’s going to happen… and talking about the future in a fearful, uncertain way.
This type of person always wants to know what other people think of them, and they’re worrying about what they should do so other people will like them. Unfortunately, this almost always comes across as insecurity.
An indefferent person, on the other hand, just goes about life and takes things as they come. The indifferent person is indefferent to the outcome of whatever situation they’re in. If it’s a man, and he’s approaching a woman, he will be OK with whatever happens. If she’s nice to him, great. If she’s uptight, no problem. If she’s rich, famous, and beautiful… and starts coming on to him, fine. No big deal.
When you are attached to the outcome of a situation, it makes you act all kinds of freaky. You pause, act nervous, hold back, look for approval, act insecure… and any of 100 other unattractive things.
On the other hand, when you’re indefferent to the outcome, it makes you magnetic. Especially when it comes to women and dating. Indifference is the ultimate way to show a lack of insecurity in life.
Humor is magic. It’s a complete mystery why we find things “funny” and why we “laugh”.
Crying because someone died makes some logical sense. It’s a bad thing, and crying expresses a negative emotion. But when you see a dog run into a window
because he doesn’t see it… and he gets a confused look on his face, you laugth. What’s with that?
Humor is interesting to me, in that if you’re funny, it makes people feel good inside. They laugh, and it triggers positive feelings. If you’re not naturally funny, it’s a great skill to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do whatever it takes to learn how to be funny.
Most of the “coolest” guys I know are wickedly funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion… but they “get it”… and when they do make a joke, it’s damn funny.
* Are you going to be a Natural with women or a Charismatic?
* Relaxed Playfulness - The Master Key of Attraction
* How To Make Her Laugh
Being Socially Adjusted
I know that this sounds funny, but most of the people I know who are “un-cool” are not very adjusted socially. They lack a certain something in the “social skills” department that makes it obvious to others (and especially to women) that they don’t know how to relate very well to other people. They just never learned how to make others feel comfortable around them.
If you’ve ever known an accountant or computer programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally boring, you know what I mean. If people act kind of nervous, strange, and uncomfortable when they’re around you, then you also know where I’m coming from on this.
* 10 Reasons Why Smart Guys Are Not Successful With Women
I can’t teach you how to make people feel comfortable around you in two sentences, but if you need to learn how to mix with people socially, then start paying attention to what’s going on around you. Watch how others dress, carry themselves, walk, and talk. Pay attention to little details… like saying, “What’s up?” when you meet someone new, instead of “Hello, pleased to meet you” and such.
…now, is this all there is to being “cool”? Of course not. But it’s a great start.
If you can first get yourself to the place where other people want to be around you just because they enjoy your company, you’ll find that taking things to the next level with women will be about 10 times easier.
I’ve had this conversation with many of the guys I know who are successful with women, and they all basically say the same thing… you have to learn how to be “cool” and make others (women) feel comfortable just being in the same room with you. And if you’re “cool”, this happens almost instantly. If you’re not “cool”, then you’re going to have a hard time making anyone feel comfortable with you… never mind having a woman feel attraction for you.
Now, I also realized that a lot of the materials that I teach in my “Double Your Dating” eBook and Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program are aimed at this exact topic.
Even though I don’t talk very much about this concept (I will in the future, though), you’ll notice that many of the techniques you’ll learn from my materials will help you in a lot of areas of your life… not just with women.
As a direct result of the things I’ve learned about how to be more successful with women and dating, I’ve also become more successful at things like being invited to “exclusive” parties, having famous and successful people pursue me as a friend, and just generally being invited into more “exclusive” social circles.
Why is this?
Well, for one thing, people who know a lot of “cool” or influential people are very careful about who they “bring along” to gatherings with friends.
The last thing someone “cool” needs in their life is an “un-cool” person making a jackass of themselves in front of all of their friends.
When you learn the art of being “cool”, you start to attract other cool people. And those people will see that you’re not insecure, emotionally unstable, clingy, and such. They’ll see that you know how to handle yourself with other people (and with women), and they’ll start introducing you to other cool people (including women) instead of running away from you.
I know that this newsletter is going to ignite a whole series of letters to me about how learning these concepts has done exactly what I’m talking about for various guys (and I want to hear about it, by the way, so make sure you write in).
So, want more great ideas on how to be “cool”, and how to meet and date more women?
I thought so…
It took me a long time to figure out how to be “cool” around women… and how to make women feel that powerful physical and emotional response called attraction…
I can’t tell you how much I wish I could have known what I teach when I was younger. It’s taken me literally years to put all the pieces together, and I invite you to take advantage of the time, effort, energy, and money I’ve invested to discover, refine, and organize all of the step-by-step techniques I’ve put together…
Where can you get all of this good stuff? Even better, where can you get it with literally zero risk? Inside my fantastic “Double Your Dating” eBook. That’s where.
And if you haven’t taken the time to download my online eBook, stop and do that right now. You can download it and literally be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/
I’ll talk to you again in a couple of days.
10 Reasons Why Smart Guys Are Not Successful With Women
Written by Seduction Tutor in Inner Game, Social Skills, Attraction, Dating
10 Reasons Why Smart Guys Are Not Successful With Women And DatingI’ve been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now… and one “problem scenario” just keeps coming up over and over… and over and over and over again…
…and it really amazes me.
I’m going to refer to it as “The Genius Failure Paradox“. “The Genius Failure Paradox” is the tendency for unusually intelligent men to have very low levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I’d like to share my thoughts about it with you. I assume that if you’ve read this far, then you probably see yourself as smarter than the average guy. You know that you’re a little different than other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently and thought differently than others in school… And you’ve probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life…
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: you’re usually right. Smart people get used to being “right” because they usually are right. And when you’re right more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can actually be worse than useless when it comes to a key area of life: women and dating.
By the way, I did say worse than useless. It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you’ll most likely make the situation worse.
Of course, it’s hard for a smart guy to even imagine a situation where his smart mind could hurt his chances for success… But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women… and what to do about it.
1. They’re Wrong, But They Can’t Or Won’t See It Or Admit It
2. They’re Blind And Arrogant
3. Poor Social Skills
4. They Psych Themselves Out
5. They Seek Only “Information Solutions”
6. They Focus On Logic Instead Of Emotion
7. They’re Not Used To The Challenge Of The Moment
8. They Think That Doing “Nice” Thing Is The “Smart Way”
9. They Always Need To Be The Expert
10. They Can’t Deal With Fear And Other Emotions
Reason #1: They’re Wrong, But They Can’t Or Won’t See It Or Admit It
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being right in most situations. And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they’re wrong? They find a new situation… one that fits their strength. They know they’ll be right next time, so they just walk away… knowing that it won’t be long before they’re right again.
(Or they let the “problem situation” destroy them… more on that later.)
Well, the bitch about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is there’s nowhere to run and hide. There’s no quick “I’m right” around the next corner to make you feel better. It only takes “failing” with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern… and realize that something isn’t working.
Solution? Think harder. A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good… so he just keeps thinking harder. But when no success comes, it really starts to
become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you’re wrong is a very hard thing for a “smart guy” to do. Accepting that you’re not only wrong, but you have no clue where to even start is even more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:
I am a smart guy, therefore if I can’t figure out how to be successful with women and dating, then the problem must not be solvable of woth solving.
Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
Reason #2: They’re Blind And Arrogant
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone “dumber” than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an “obviously less intelligent person” before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50… but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?
It’s an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you’d like to have the guide who isn’t the smartest guy around… but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals…
But now let me ask you:
If you’d like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn’t very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There’s something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn’t either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any smart guy can see the folly in this particular approach… once it’s examined closely. If you’ve been making this mistake, then you need to stop it. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes. Look around. Learn from some “dumb” guys… and let them teach you how to get what you really want.
Reason #3: Poor Social Skills
It blows my mind how many smart guys I meet that just don’t get it when it comes to basic social skills. It’s as if they have logically reasoned that
social skills are for lower beings who need to play games… and not worth the time it would take to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don’t even have “social skills” and “be a cool guy that people like” in their mental model of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that… skills. They’re not social information. They’re not social theories. They’re social skills.
And you don’t get them by thinking about them. You get them by getting them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans… and if you don’t have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.
Reason #4: They Psych Themselves Out
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me… They come up with all the reasons why everything won’t work when it comes to women and dating. They actually figure out why what it is that they would like to do will probably fail…
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes… and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions… which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.
They don’t even try.
Now, if you’ve thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right? I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?
It is sound logic, but horrible thinking when it comes to the real world… and success with women. Because smart guys don’t understand women, and they don’t understand what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They’re wrong before they even start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won’t work in this area of your life leads to ultimate failure. You must learn to overcome this habit if you
Reason #5: They Seek Only “Information Solutions”
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem… or he needs to figure something out? He looks for information to help him solve the problem. More information is always the answer. Information is the friend of a smart guy.
* Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the Internet and search for how to eliminate it.
* Don’t know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.
* Don’t know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.
More information solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women? They want more information. They think the answer lies in learning just one more technique… or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the “get more information” strategy actually made things worse? How would you even know that it was making
Now, I don’t want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It’s not. But if you have a problem that is emotional or
physical in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn’t going to help you very much. You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You need to look at the real problem… the root of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there’s a very good chance that you have more than enough “information”. Smart guys often use “more information” to
distract them from taking action. I’ve heard this referred to as “Creative Avoidance”.
Nod silently if you’ve ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life. Good, thank you.
Reason #6: They Focus On Logic Instead Of Emotion
News just in: Women don’t feel attraction for men who make them think. Women feel attraction for men who make them feel. So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?
Exactly! They get into a logical conversation. I’m shaking my head right now…
Smart men try to engage women in logical conversations and interactions because that’s where they feel comfortable… not knowing that they’re shooting themselves in the foot by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel attraction for you by engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a woman you’ve just met, you are basically taking out a neon sign that says, “I don’t get it when it comes to women” and putting it on your head.
Typical “logical” conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs… discussing politics, religion, weather… and anything that has to do with math, science, or intelligence.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say, “OK, so tell me something… Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys… but they all date sexy, selfish, bad boys?” (and then make fun of any answer she gives) Now you’re having an emotional conversation.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.
Reason #7: They’re Not Used To The Challenge Of The Moment
Smart people usually have time to think about things. If you’re taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers. If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you’ve figured it out. If you’re trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it’s fixed. Smart guys are used to being able to take at
least a little bit of time to prepare and show off their “good sides” in most situations. Not so with women…
If you don’t know what to do at every step along the way, you’ll be shut down very quickly. Women have an amazing “He doesn’t get it” radar system. Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the “get its” from the “don’t get its”. And if you don’t get it, then you’re going to fail one of these tests very quickly.
But the worst part is that you won’t ever know that you were being tested… Or that you failed. Smart guys aren’t used to dealing with complex emotional and communication challenges in the moment… and especially the “women and dating” kind.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly. But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
Reason #8: They Think That Doing “Nice” Thing Is The “Smart Way”
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a date with the super model of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a “smart” way of preparing:
1. Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be “wowed”.
2. Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.
3. Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner… and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.
OK, time’s up. Which did you choose? Now, I already mentioned that this was a trick question. The answer is none of the above.
But why? These three options all seemed logical, right? I mean, why wouldn’t you want to show up with her favorite flowers? Why wouldn’t you want to talk about to her about her favorite places to travel? Why wouldn’t you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here…
Smart guys think that they’re being clever when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers… and bringing them to the first date. Right?
In their minds they’re thinking, “I’m going to be the guy who is thinking ahead… and I’m going to show up with the flowers that I know she loves… and she’s going to see them and like me more because of it”. Makes sense… good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these “smart” guys make is not realizing that it doesn’t actually take a smart person to think like this! In fact, any jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman’s ass. And guess what?
Women know this!
And guess what else?
Every wussbag does this stuff.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he’s being such the charmer by using this “thoughtful” approach…
…and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who’s trying to manipulate her. Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
Mistake #9: They Always Need To Be The Expert
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be “right”? Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about… and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn’t shut their “smart mouths”?
Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again… Smart guys don’t like to be “beginners” at
anything. They don’t like the idea of screwing up… especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this “smart guy” image of themselves… so they try to always be “The Expert” at whatever they do. Instead of saying, “Hey, you know what? I’m a beginner at this… how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?”… and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to learn…
…they won’t risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they’re beginners… so they wind up ultimately failing.
More news just in: It’s OK to be a beginner.
Mistake #10: They Can’t Deal With Fear And Other Emotions
A smart guy’s strength is his mind. His weakness is often his emotions. Smart guys are often immobilized by fear. Totally stopped. Frozen.
And since many smart guys aren’t comfortable dealing with things they’re not good at, they just repress or run away from fear. Many men would rather die in lonely isolation than admit that they don’t know how to deal with their emotions… or, god forbit, ask for help!
Hey, I went for years like this. I know what it’s like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even master his emotions (even fear)… if he just takes the time and effort to learn how to do it. If this is you, then do yourself a big favor… take the time. Take the effort.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you… it doesn’t matter. What matters is you doing the things that you need to do for you.
…I think the reason why I’m so fascinated with “The Genius Failure Paradox” is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life. Now, I’m not saying that I’m the smartest guy on the planet… But, I don’t think mamma raised no fool. And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn’t figure women out. Something tells me that you know what I’m talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years… trying all kinds of crazy “logical” stuff… I finally got the “bright” idea to start studying guys who were “naturally” good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both not smart and very successful with women at the same time. I also learned that you can be smart and very successful with women too.
By carefully studying what the “naturals” did with women… and learning how they “thought” about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn’t entirely logical.
Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept… because my logical brain just didn’t want to buy into it. One thing I saw was guys pushing women away
from them… and having the women then chase them in response. Made no sense at all.
“Double Your Dating” - eBook by David DeAngeloI saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces… and then watched those women become “little girls” in response… unable to maintain their composure and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power… It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation… get any woman’s number I wanted anytime I wanted… date any type of woman I wanted…
…and most importantly, get rid of that “empty” feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn’t know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of their lives together. The first “major” result of all this time,
effort, and energy is my online eBook “Double Your Dating”. And if you haven’t already downloaded it, then you need to go and do that now. You can download it and be reading it within a few minutes from right now. You can download it here:
The Personality Type That Attracts Women
Written by Seduction Tutor in Attraction
The Personality Type That Attracts WomenI get a lot of emails from guys who read my newsletter that say things like… “I’m sure what you’re saying is right, but I don’t want to be a jerk or an asshole to women…” or “I have seen what you’re talking about happen all my life, but I’m a ‘nice guy’ and I want women to like me for me…” and “This doesn’t make sense…”
For most of my life, I was the nice guy of nice guys. As a matter of fact, when I first made the decision to learn how to be successful with women, this actually created an obstacle for me. Let me explain…
Because I believed that “being a nice guy” must be the way to success with women, I actually couldn’t even perceive any other way. In other words, I could see a situation where a woman was attracted to a mean, abusive guy and think to myself that either she must be screwed up in the head, or that the guy must be really nice to her the rest of the time.
As you probably know, it’s hard to convince a person to believe something when they already have a belief about the topic. The person that you’re trying to convince just uses whatever you say to convince themselves that they’re actually right… and you’re wrong. I did the exact same thing.
No matter how much evidence I found to the contrary, I still somehow believed that being a “nice” guy, buying women flowers and gifts, taking them out, and generally letting them be in control of the relationship had to be the way to attract them.
Well, after continuing along the same path and getting the same results, I realized something that literally changed everything for me. I realized that jerks do, in fact, attract hot women. Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes women feel attracted to you. Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get and all kinds of other “illogical” things really do work when it comes to attracting women.
But, then I had a dilemma… I love the idea of being successful with women but, I hate the idea of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and being misleading, etc. Deep down, I wanted to be a good guy.
I decided that there must be a way to make this work, and to attract women without being abusive. The good news is that there is a way. But, it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just long enough to entertain some new ones.
First, let me say that I believe I’ve found a way to take the things that jerks do to attract women and use them without the abuse. When you learn to do this, you can really have the best of both worlds… you can be nice to women on your own terms, and give them what they really want, and what really attracts them.
So, Why Do Women Become Attracted To Jerks?
The short answer is that they don’t choose it, it’s something that just happens. Attraction isn’t a choice. It’s an emotional response to certain things.
Women don’t choose to feel the emotion called attraction for jerks any more than you choose to feel the emotion called attraction for young, beautiful, hard bodied women. Nature has preprogrammed men with a mechanism that works like this:
See hot women → Feel attraction
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female version is more complex.
Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men… but they feel a much stronger attraction for certain personality traits and behaviors than they do for physical looks alone. So, again the short answer is that it’s just something that “happens” inside of a women. She doesn’t “choose” it.
So, what is it about the “jerk” that creates this powerful, uncontrollable attraction inside of women? Let me answer first by telling you what it’s not.
It’s not the abuse (not usually anyway). I don’t believe that women are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the “jerk personality”. I think that jerks just happen to also possess several attractive qualities that are so powerful that they literally make women blind to the abuse… women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behavior because they are so attracted to these other qualities.
Here’s a partial list of what creates that attraction:
Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for this discussion. The qualities I’ve listed above, when presented correctly, trigger the natural “attraction mechanism” inside of women.
Jerks have taken natural qualities that are attractive to women a little “too far”. But because they’re still there, the qualities trigger the attraction anyway.
So, what does this mean to you? Well, the most important thing is that it means you can still be a good guy and attract women at the same time. You’re probably going to have to learn how to flirt in a different way, become a little more comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But, in the end, you’ll find that this will get you what you want and still allow you to treat women well… all on your own terms.
It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to about their relationship problems and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive again… you can be the guy who they’re dating and sleeping with!
Now, I’d like you to take time to think about what I’ve said here in this newsletter. Think about how you can cultivate the four qualities that I’ve mentioned above into your personality. See if you can be a little less predictable. Don’t let outside events or women control you. Be more of a challenge. Stop being submissive… and get in touch with that side of you that is more dominant (I said “dominant”, not “domineering”). This will give you a great head start.
“Double Your Dating” - eBook by David DeAngeloAnd, if you’re ready to get an in-depth education on the topic of creating attraction, then you must read my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. This book will take you “behind the scenes” and show you how to communicate with women in a way that triggers the attraction… instead of trying to be a “nice guy” and convince her to feel it for you.
You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here:
I’ll talk to you again soon.
Is “Romance” Attractive To Women?
Written by Seduction Tutor in Romance, Attraction
Is “Romance” Attractive To Women?You’ve probably noticed that I don’t talk about the idea of “romance” very often. There’s a good reason for this. I think that most guys use romance in completely the wrong way, and in the process screw up their chances with the woman that they are interested in.
I’m going to take some time here to talk about my personal perspective on romance, how it is misused, and how to use it to really make a woman feel attracted to you.
Most guys make one of two main mistakes when trying to be “romantic”:
1. They try to use romance to create attraction.
2. They use too much romance, thinking that more must be better.
Let me ask you this… What does romance mean to you? I’m serious. Think about it for a minute. Does romance mean gifts and flower? Does it mean fancy dinners? Does it mean candles and soft music?
To me, romance is about showing a softer side of yourself… a more thoughtful side… in a way that is meant to increase the woman’s attraction for you. Like I just mentioned, most guys either try to use romance to create attraction, or they do too many things in an attempt to “be romantic”, and the effect is lost.
Here’s a quiz:
In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:
1. Brought her red roses every time you saw her.
2. Brought her one flower the fourth time you saw her, but it was her favorite flower, in her favorite color.
Here’s another one…
In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:
1. Took her to a fancy dinner every time you saw her.
2. Didn’t take her to dinner, but one night cooked her a favorite dish that your mom taught you and told her the story of how it came to be a family favorite?
Do you see where I’m going with these examples? “Romance” is all about the context of the situation. In other words, little things that are thoughtful, used once in awhile will make far more of an impact than trying to do everything you possibly can all the time.
Have you ever seen a TV show or movie with a girl holding a flower, pulling off each petal one at a time and saying, “He loves me, he loves me not“? This is a famous cliche… even Madonna does it in her old “Truth or Dare” movie.
What’s going on here? And why is it now such a famous idea that it is almost universally known? Because it strikes a chord inside of women everywhere! Every woman can relate to the idea of thinking about a man and wondering if he’s thinking about her.
Pulling petals off of a flower and saying, “He loves me, he loves me not“, is just another way of saying, “I can’t stop thinking about this guy and I’m going to keep thinking about him until I know how he feels.” As you know, if you’ve read past newsletters and/or my ebook, I think that it’s important to create this kind of situation as much as humanly possible.
Now, here’s where romance fits into the puzzle… If you’re doing things that you consider to be “romantic” all the time, then she has nothing to wonder about… nothing to think about… there is no challenge or mystery at all. On the other hand, if you use romance more carefully and keep her on the edge of her seat, so
to speak, then a small romantic gesture will cause her to feel great feelings of attraction inside… and cause her to work even harder to get and keep your attention - because she’ll try harder to get more out of this romantic side of you!
So What Are Some Things You Can Do, That Women See As Romantic, Without Going Overboard?
Well, if you want to do the typical things like flowers, gifts, music, poetry, etc. then do as I said earlier: Use them very infrequently. Tease her, bust on her, treat her like a bratty little sister most of the time, then out of nowhere do something thoughtful. But make sure to stay cool when the emotional reaction comes!
She’s probably going to be very happy and want to know “where that came from.” Just tell her that you were thinking about her and move on to the next topic. Don’t get all mushy, dude.
By the way, if you’ve gone out with a woman 47 times, and you don’t know if she likes you, and you’re now thinking, “Oh, hey… great idea! I’ll buy her a flower and she’ll feel attracted to me…” then get a new idea. Romance isn’t a way to make a woman feel attracted to you. Romance is a way to amplify attraction that is
Read that last part again… don’t try to make a woman feel attracted to you with romance!
Attraction is created by factors other than gifts, dinners, flowers, etc. If she’s not feeling attracted to you, then showing her that you’re attracted to her probably
isn’t going to change it… in fact, it may just push her away.
I know, I know… you once heard about a guy who pursued a woman for 9 years until she finally gave in and married him. Well, that might work, but I don’t have 9 years (unless it’s Cindy Crawford… yeah, I know she’s like 50, but she’s still hot).
Earlier I mentioned a couple of great ideas. You can cook her a special meal that has meaning… and tell the story behind it. Stories are romantic, especially if the story contains a love story.
And small gifts can be romantic as well (I don’t like big gifts because they change the dynamic of the relationship and can create all kinds of feelings that it’s a trade of affection for money, etc.).
If you pay attention, a woman will mention something that she really likes. It could be a kind of flower, a kind of music, an author, etc. If you want to be romantic (after you know that she’s attracted to you) you can get something thoughtful then write a card that says, “I was thinking about you, and I found this… thought
you would like it. Kiss Kiss.”
Use romance as the spice, and not the main dish. Use it to amplify, not as your main strategy. Romance combined with the techniques that I teach is a very powerful combination.
How To Create A Setting That Automatically Creates And Amplifies Attraction…
We just talked about how most guys either have no clue about romance, or they use it too much… which screws up everything for them. There is one aspect of romance that I have found very useful to know more about and use. It’s the concept of how to create a setting that will create more of a feeling of attraction inside of the woman that you are with.
Warning: What I’m about to share with you is not a magic bullet. It’s no substitute for a cocky, funny personality and great skills. Using this alone will not make you successful with women.
With that said… I’ve found that there are a few things you can do in your immediate environment to “accelerate the mood”, so to speak, when you are with a woman. Women have very active senses… usually much more so than men.
If you have already sparked the attraction between you and her, introducing certain sensory stimulus will usually increase the attraction, and can lead to a more, shall we say “physical” demonstration of that attraction.
OK, let’s say that you’ve had a fun night out with your girl (and of course, because you read Double Your Dating you knew where to take her that was fun and inexpensive) and you’re back at your place. (Of course, she came inside because you learned how to get her to come in from the book too… right?)
And then you use the Kiss Test, which you learned when you visited my web site… and you’ve just kissed for the first time. Now what? Well, most guys make the huge mistake of trying to grope the poor girl… which, of course leads to the inevitable “I think that we’re moving a little fast. Let’s take things slower.” (Translation: “None for you tonight, and if you try that again, none for you anytime in the next 10 dates.“)
Instead, try this:
After that first kiss, pull back and look into her eyes and say, “Yum.” Then stand up and say, “Let me see if I can do something about this setting” in a fun, smooth, kind-of suspenseful tone of voice.
Here’s the recipe:
1. A few candles
2. Some incense
3. A glass of wine (if you both drink and are of legal age)
4. Sade’s - Greatest Hits on low
I know it sounds simple, but let me explain the recipe now that you know the ingredients. Remember the formula “Two steps forward, one step back” that I often talk about? Mix up these ingredients with that concept… and viola! More and more and more attraction.
You probably don’t need to learn how to light candles, open wine, and play music. If you do, refer to the instructions that come with the products.
I personally like to introduce these as great ways to interrupt the kissing (and whatever else is going on).
1. Kiss Kiss
2. “Let me see if I can do something about this setting”
3. Light candles and incense, lower lighting
4. Kiss Kiss
5. Open wine and put on ‘Sade’
6. Kiss Kiss
7. Watch out… because something good is about to happen.
Here’s what’s going on in her mind:
* “Oh, we’re kissing. I’d better not let this go too far.”
* “What? Why did he stop kissing me? Oh, candles. I love candles…”
* “Wow, this is turning into a make-out session, maybe I’d better put on the brakes.”
* “What? Why did he stop again?”
* “Ohhh, I love ‘Sade’. Her voice is so sexy. And this wine is nice. Hmm, I wonder why he isn’t trying to jump my bones. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m a good kisser. Maybe he changed his mind. Well I’m not going to let that happen. I’ll show him…”
Do you get it? By simultaneously creating tension while making the setting more and more ‘romantic’, you will stir up her attraction towards you and make her be
the one who ultimately gets so worked up that she can’t help but have you. Nice.
Of course there are many other things you can do that are romantic. Like sprinkling rose petals on the bed, pulling out some Godiva chocolate, or lighting up the fire and grabbing a blankie (make sure you don’t bring out your teddy-bear from when you were a kid… that might not go over too well).
It’s really up to you.
The key is to use these things sparingly, and use them with the concepts that you’ve already learned to amplify the attraction that you’ve already created with your communication.
So remember, use these things with women who are already feeling the attraction, not to create it!
And if you still haven’t downloaded your copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating, then do yourself a big favor and get it. It’s taken me several years to learn, find, test, and refine all of the wisdom in that book. It’s the best investment you’ll ever make in your dating life, and I use every one of the ideas inside it personally. Just
…and download your copy now. You’ll be reading it in just a few minutes, and learning the exact techniques that have improved my love life dramatically.
Talk to you soon.
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Are you going to be a Natural with women or a Charismatic?
Written by Seduction Tutor in Social Skills, Attraction, Lifestyle
Are you going to be a Natural with women or a Charismatic?The worst problem guys have is that they can’t seem to overcome their hesitation, fear, and serious attitude around women. The problem is, we don’t have the right people to model and copy – guys who are just naturals with women.
We’ve all known that guy from school or work who just seemed to get lots of women effortlessly, without lines or routines or seduction formulas. This guy was just, well, a Natural with women and we envied his seemingly magic talent. Another group of men that has an uncanny success with women is The Charismatic. Such men possess a raw charisma that shines through in group situations.
So the question is, what’s the difference between true Naturals and Charismatics, and how do you incorporate the secrets and skills of one or the other… or both?
Being a true Natural with women is all about letting go and letting loose. Whereas most guys have had their fresh, carefree, childlike spirit beaten out of them, the Natural is, above all else, playful, with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye.
Whereas most guys have learned through school and work to act carefully and deliberately, trying to always please, thinking of how they look in other’s eyes, Naturals are blissfully uncaring, lighthearted, and don’t take anything too seriously.
In this way, Naturals are like children, infecting everyone around them with their youthful impulsiveness and spontaneity. Their playfulness translates into a fearlessness and brazenness with women that most other men have lost. And this relaxed playfulness has an intoxicating effect on women, promising them the chance to come out of their own shells of boring conformity.
The Charismatic man is particularly successful in groups of people. It’s his smoothness with language that makes him stand out - when he speaks, he uses storytelling, vivid imagery, and delightful spontaneity to move the group to laughter, excitement, and mass euphoria.
The Charismatic knows how to use his body language to command attention, using sweeping physical gestures, animated expressions, and piercing eye contact. When he speaks, he puts his audience into a sort of hypnotic trance, and no one can take their eyes off of him.
As a result, people feel alive and energized around him, like a kind of electric current passes between him and the group, feeding off one another. Men want to follow him and women want a chance to be with him.
The Charismatic is no entertaining clown however. He makes girls compete and work for his reward and approval, and does not reveal all of himself at once.
And whereas most men hesitate before taking bold action, The Charismatic acts with single-minded self-assurance. He expresses what others are afraid to express. He says what others want to say, but don’t. He does not apologize for who he is or go halfway- and he is never afraid of going too far. It’s this unbridled openness that’s part of his magnetic attraction to women.
You see, most girls are in fact, incredibly bored with their lives. They attempt to suppress their inward sexuality and inner feelings because it is socially unacceptable. Yet women crave openness, adventure, and wild passion.
It’s the Charismatic’s unshakable confidence, sense of adventure, and open acts of social risk that hits women like a thunderclap. He delivers the intense, emotional fix and escape from reality that they’re looking for.
Your First Step
Now you can focus on becoming more of a Natural with women or a Charismatic into your own core personality.
But being natural and having raw charisma can’t come from traditional book study. That’s why renowned hypnotist Damian Transari and I have developed two new trance CDs designed to put your mind into the state of the natural and charismatic archetypes.
The Natural trance CD will bring out the natural seducer in you, making you playful and uninhibited and effortless, throwing off the heavy chains of seriousness, snapping apart the bonds of social pressure holding you back. Click here to hear a free audio sample
The Charismatic trance CD will build the behaviors and mindset of the Charismatic into our own selves by ridding the self-consciousness and discomfort most of us feel in groups. We too can command body language, spontaneous fun, and group tactics for winning over women. Click here to hear a free audio sample
Through these two CDs, offered here for the very first time, you can try on new behaviors, new skills, and clean out daily negativity all in a rapid manner, while you’re in an altered state of suggestible trance.
Check it out today!