Dealing with failure
Being topical this time, the England
football team has to come to terms with
failure, and all those pictures of footballers
and fans in tears is a powerful picture of
how we can get hurt and disappointed. It
would be rare for anyone not to feel
similar, but what we need to do is to think
about how we will react.
There are many ways to deal with
disappointment and many times I have
spoken with people who didn’t get a
promotion and their way of dealing with it
was to disengage from the company, to
moan and do the minimum. Sometimes
this would coincide with a new boss taking
over their team, into the job they had
hoped to get. What sort of impression
does this give to their boss – someone
who is not interested and helpful in the job
and who makes negative remarks? Their
chance of another promotion reduces the
longer they maintain this approach.
I appreciate it is hard but they need to
turn the situation around. Companies
will sometimes ask me to work with
someone who is not being effective at
work, but the company wants to help
them return to how they used to be. With
listening and understanding most of the
people I have worked with have been able
to turn the situation around, and in large
companies this can be through a sideways
move for a new challenge. However one or
two let their feelings fester and they can
find that they lose their job, not usually a
good position to be in. When I worked
with Martin it was a wake up call and we
were careful to plan his strategy for the
next organisation he was to join.
I personally remember years ago that a
boss didn’t give me a bonus. I was so
disappointed; I always had one and it was
usually enough to pay for the family
holiday. I spoke to my boss, found out
the reasons, and it was hard not to be
defensive when I found them unfair. I
learnt that I couldn’t expect my boss to
have my best interests to heart and made
sure I had regular update meetings with
her seeking feedback on how she thought
I was doing so I could address things
straight away. I also got myself a transfer
and like a fairy tale was promoted within
a year.
If you survive the interview
you get the job
I saw this in the Sunday Times world
news yesterday. In Moscow they have
started to use a stress interview, where
you are put under pressure. In one
example following straightforward
interview questions the interviewer
became hostile and the candidate was
ordered to leave, throwing her CV after
her. The next day the candidate got a
phone call offering her a job, the stress
part of the interview was to see how she
responded to a difficult situation. The
candidate turned the job down! Another
example was throwing a glass of water
into someone’s face. Apparently if you
accept it you are seen as ideal for a boss
seeking a submissive deputy whereas if
you respond with aggression you are seen
to have leadership qualities. This is not
going down well in Moscow and certainly
wouldn’t be undertaken by any reputable
employer in the UK and I assume most
other countries. When I run interview
practice sessions with people we discuss
the more unusual techniques
and I do cover the stress interview –
I have personal experience of being
given a lower chair, or a chair in the
centre of the room and I’ll discuss
how to handle these.
3 Brook House Barns Aston
on Carrant Tewkesbury
GL20 8HL
01684 772 888
www.amazingpeople.co.uk
July 2006
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Love Your Job
What about you? How are things
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in a safe and supportive
environment do get in touch.
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Interviews.htm
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Get in touch. For a confidential chat
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email or call 01684 772 888
denise@denisetaylor.co.uk
Career Counselling and Guidance -
Assessments - Job Search Support -
Assessment and Development specialist
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Lisa W.
3 Brook House Barns Aston
on Carrant Tewkesbury
GL20 8HL
01684 772 888
www.amazingpeople.co.uk
July 2006
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